Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
