the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize