have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize