I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
YAS. BRING CRAB.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize