I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When are your genitals available?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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