i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
