HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
