the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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