Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
