The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
