i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Your dad touched me again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
