I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
