I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
