Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
