i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
