im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize