three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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