I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he just fucked me for my cheese..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
