i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
