I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
