I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I love you.
Bad choice
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
