My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
