oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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