Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
