we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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