I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
false alarm, still single
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
