Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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