you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
