it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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