Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
