it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
