his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
