the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
