You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
