Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
