Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
