I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize