Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
