tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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