Duck Duck Cougar?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
