I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
