And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I could fuck to npr.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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