he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
are you so shy because you have an std?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize