his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
