he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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