Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
