yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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