Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
