Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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