remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
