just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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