Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
