if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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