she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
