I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
